SILENT TEMPER TANTRUMS

I woke up and for the first Sunday in a long time I didn’t want to get out of bed. I felt unnoticed and unseen and that was fine for me. I would hide away and just continue down my rabbit hole of negative emotions. It was just one Sunday. No one would even notice if I skipped church today. I laid in bed for 10 more minutes and then as I tossed and turned I decided just to get up and go. I would sneak in and sneak out and that would be it. So I did just that. I worshipped and prayed and listen to the sermon and as soon as the prayer ended I bolted out the door. I wish I could say church made the difference today. But if I am bring truthful I felt worse than I had before I got there. Then I turned on the radio on and I heard Gods voice so loud and clear. GOD’S NOT DONE WITH YOU. The tears fell like rain over and over. He saw me. He heard me through my silent temper tantrum. So read the lyrics and hear this spoken over you. If you feel like your story is over. It’s only just begun. Because God’s not done.

Standing in your ruins, feels a lot like the end
So used to losing, you’re afraid to try again
Right now all you see are ashes
Where there was a flame
The truth is that you’re not forgotten
‘Cause Grace knows your name
God’s not done with you
Even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars
God’s not done with you
Even when you’re lost and it’s hard and you’re falling apart
God’s not done with you
It’s not over, it’s only begun
So don’t hide, don’t run
‘Cause God’s not done with
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
There’s a light you don’t notice
Until you’re standing in the dark
And there’s a strength that’s growing
Inside your shattered heart
Woah-o-o-o-o-oah
God’s not done with you
Even with your broken heart and your wounds and your scars
God’s not done with you
Even when you’re lost and it’s hard and you’re falling apart
God’s not done with you
It’s not over, it’s only begun
So don’t hide, don’t run
‘Cause God’s not done with
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
He’s not done with you
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
You-ou-ou-ou-ou
He’s got a plan, this is part of it
He’s gonna finish what He started
He’s got a plan, this is part of it
He’s gonna finish what He started
He’s not done
God’s not done writing your story
No, He’s not done
God’s not done with you!
God’s not done with you
God’s not done with you
Even when you’re lost and it’s hard and you’re falling apart
God’s not done with you
It’s not over, it’s only begun
So don’t hide, don’t run
‘Cause God’s not done with
You, You (You-ou-ou-ou-ou)
You, You (You-ou-ou-ou-ou)
You, You
No, He’s not done
God’s not done with you

Be blessed

Renee’

Keeping the knots!

Have you ever had those days where you can’t seem to shake off the past. I had one of those days. The night before I watched something on TV that brought back memories of a time in my life that I wish would have never been. I have struggled keeping it out of my head. I feel the pain as it was yesterday. I am sad and somewhat angry. I feel like crawling back in bed. Yet,I know that even the darkest times in our lives God is able to use for his glory. We can spend countless hours asking why and replaying the moments over and over again. It is such a waste of precious time. It can go on for days if we let it and take away time with those we love.

Phillipians 3:12-14 says….Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

It is hard to not let past memories hold us back from who God has created us to be. But somewhere in the pain there is the purpose. We might not see the whole picture until we have finished the race.

Our lives are like beautifully woven tapestries. The tops are gorgeous works of art woven with beautifully colored threads. We don’t see the finished product because we are looking at it from the underside. If you have seen any embroidery or woven pieces the underside looks like a jumbled mess of of knots and intertwining threads. It would be so much nicer if we could snip those knots away. Yet, each knot holds together a specific part of the artwork on top and without the knot it would unravel and all our work would be for nothing. It isn’t pretty but it is necessary.

Only God sees the finished product. It is our job to trust him with it. For the artist is the only one who knows the entire vision of his artwork.

Be blessed today and trust your lives to the one who holds the vision for our future.

RENEE’

A letter from Jesus

I sat on the floor of my living room tears flooded my eyes. I can’t do this. I would just get the one diaper out of the laundry and have to change it and start all over.

I was barely 21 and had a newborn baby boy. I felt so unprepared for this. I was so tired I had barely slepted at all last night. My husband who was 20 had just started another new job making minimum wage and he tried so hard to work as many hours he could to stretch that small wage. Yet,after all our bill’s there was absolutely nothing left over. I was using two cloth diapers that I had been given as burp rags for diapers. This was not what I had imagined motherhood to be. Why would anyone sign up for this. My house was a mess. I hadn’t had a hot shower in days. I felt so alone. I wanted to give up. I looked out the window at that moment and saw the postman driving away. I would go get the mail. Maybe the air would calm my screaming child and dry my face from all the tears. I opened the mailbox and thumbed through the stack of overdue bills. Then my eyes saw an unusual letter addressed to my baby boy with no return address. I quickly tore it open and as I started to read the tears again would fill my eyes. It would express how we were know and seen and that our future was planned for success. It wasn’t long or filled with fancy words or on fancy paper. Just a piece of notebook paper written with pencil. Yet to me it was the most beautiful thing I had ever read. It was signed “I love you, Jesus”. There was seven single dollars carefully tucked in the envelope the letter had said that I should buy a pack of diapers. I wiped my face kissed my son and breathed a much needed breath into my lungs. I felt seen. HE SAW US. HE KNEW OUR NAMES.

That letter changed my life forever. I vowed to do whatever I could within my power to help as many mothers to never feel alone or invisible and to share the good news of Jesus and how he is always by our side.

Today I am the Executive director of Life Choices. A non profit that does just what I vowed to do. Bring help and healing to Mothers and families in our community.

Matthew 25:40 says ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Let’s continue to offer help to others around us. Loving and Protecting life should happen everyday as we Love and care for others.

If you are in need of assistance in the Burlington WI area or surrounding communities.

Call 262 763-4871

Fair-weather friends

What is a fair weather friend? The dictionary says it is a friend who is your friend when it is easy and convenient to do so but stops when you are going through something hard .

I have had many of these. Sometimes it is so heartbreaking. It makes you feel so alone when the people who claim to love you want you to be there for them through their struggles but when you go through tough times they all bail. It makes trusting hard and makes believing there are actually people who value others feelings and aren’t selfish.

My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God.
Job 16:20 KJV
My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me.
Job 19:14 KJV

Job felt like this in the bible. He was a good man who loved God and went through a time in his life where it could be compared nothing less than Hell. When he needed friends and family the most they all turned on him and were nowhere to be found. But he cried out to God. He never stopped. Even the darkest of days.

He went through this time where most would have thrown in the towel but God was with him and gave him strength to press forward.

How many of us know this feeling. We struggle in silence. We get angry because we feel used by friends who we have run to when they have needed us but when we needed them they were nowhere to be found.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 KJV

Proverbs talks about a special friend. One that sticks closer than a brother. Oh that sounds amazing. Well it is! It is Jesus. He never leaves you or forsakes you. He walks hand and hand right through the hottest of fires and he will always be there to give you the strength you need to perservere.

Who knows more about fair weather friends than Jesus. He created the world and they turned their back on him.

He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
John 1:11 KJV

Then Jesus did what no other friend would do. He gave his life for us. He died for us.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 KJV

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 KJV

So no matter what life throws at me. Even if friends and family aren’t there or forsake us. I know that I am never alone. I have the best friend anyone can ask for. I Just reach out my hand and he is there. It gets me through the loneliest of times. It helps me when I am angry and feel abandoned. I know Jesus experienced everything I feel in much greater lengths. He sees me…He understands me.

LET HIM BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. It helps. It is the greatest comfort in troubling times.

Love and Blessings

Renee’

SPLASH WINTER AWAY

This winter has just beat me up emotionally. The doldrums of the grey skies and the bitter cold mixed with the constant snow and ice. I look at the outside season and realize how sometimes it mirrors my inside emotional climate. So when the first sunny day hits my cold frozen spirit I can feel it soften my emotions. My eyes have shed a few tears the last few weeks and I can’t help thinking that maybe its God melting the frozen parts of my heart that seem to been built up. Sometimes when lifes long winters seem to never leave and we can’t see the end in sight we need to remember God’s faithfulness. He has never left us even in the darkest of times. It is also good to remember that nothing can stop Spring from coming. Spring will arrive and with is new growth and change and amazing opportunities. Let’s get outside and look for the shoots…the little burst of green breaking through the earth reminding us that LIFE still exists. When you hear the birds come back it does something to a person it reminds us that even a little tiny bird can push it’s way back. Though we have been beat upon by the cold and windy and icy bursts of winter we know that soon the process will begin to bear fruit. Don’t think that it won’t come that God doesn’t see your struggle. HE DOES AND HE LOVES YOU. It is time to throw on those puddle boots and splash in some puddles. Let the Joy return. LAUGH!   

Your faithfulness extends from one generation to the next! You set the earth firmly in place, and it is still there. PSALMS 119:90

There is absolutely nothing that will keep Change from coming…. noone has power to stop spring from showing up.

GET TO SPLASHING!

Be blessed

Stop kicking the goads.

This morning I spent some time in acts. I was reading about Paul’s transformation. (Formerly Saul) He was absolutely evil… He did everything he could to kill Christians and to keep the gospel from being spread. Yet, when He met Jesus on the road to Damascus JESUS said something to him that I didn’t understand. Act 9:9 said Then the Lord said ” I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. IS IT HARD FOR YOU TO KICK AGAINST THE GOADS?

What the world is a goad? I knew this was gonna blow my mind.

So a goad is actually a large stick with a pointed end that was used to get Oxen going in the right direction and keeping them from straying. Ya…I know right. GOD was calling Saul a beast..an Ox. Yet hold on what I found out is Oxen are actually prone to follow thier master and are usually pretty compliant creatures. So maybe the oxen should be more offended that God was calling Saul one of them. What happens when the oxen don’t want to do what the master says and they kick against the goad. It stabs into them and causes pain.

God had been prodding Saul for along time before this experience ..Saul was rebelling and kicking against it. He was suffering. God gave him so many chances to stop persecuting God and Christian’s yet Saul was being stubborn. Anyone feeling this?

How many times have we been prodded by the father to do something or change something in our lives and we just kicked against it. We spent alot of wasted time bleeding and suffering instead of doing what would be the best for us. I have been guilty of doing this so much and when I finally give in I realize how much time I wasted trying to do my own thing.

STOP KICKING THE GOAD….it is used to lovingly keep us from harm. BUT WHEN WE FIGHT IT WE END UP IN PAIN.

God is just trying to keep us from straying and ending up lost or dead. Why are we so stubborn.

I am going to stop being so stubborn because I am tired of feeling the pain of my actions anymore. How bout you? What are you kicking against.

Xoxoxo

Renee’

Listen and observe

I haven’t written on here in a while. I just have been in a season where I feel like I am to devote to listening and observevation. This isn’t an easy season. First of all those are two things that came second to my longing to speak. Even as a child I wanted to talk talk talk and the only thing I wanted to listen to was the sound of my own voice.

So why is God calling me to a season where my voice is second. Because if I’m speaking I can’t hear him or hear through to the heart of others.

James 1:19 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger

Wow…slow to anger. This is definately not something easy for a Mama Bear type such as myself. I love to fiercely defend those I Love. But now God is telling me to sit back and listen and observe and basically to slow my roll. Why? Because this is a season of complete opposite in this country. People are speaking out on everything. They are arguing hot topics like sexual harassment and abortion two issues that we have been somewhat silent on for awhile. The problem is we have closed our ears to wisdom in this nation. We only want to hear ourselves talk. I believe healing is going to come when we start listening to eachother and stop our constant jawing.

Proverbs 18:2

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion.

I know I don’t want to be a fool in God’s eyes.

So the next time you hear something that goes against what you believe. Take the time to listen and hear what others are saying. We need to bring back intelligent conversation in this nation.

God, help me to quiet my heart and voice so I can hear your voice clearly without distraction. Let me be a listener first and speaker second. When I am slow to speak I am giving you time to move and speak through me. Let our Government begin to Listen to eachother more. Open hearts and minds to wisdom.

Love you all,

RENEE’